Raynes ish blog

Blue: Unsure of use

August 31, 7:00 am

I found myself lying in the bedroom of my nightmares. For the past week I have been hoping that every time I fall asleep that I will awake from this nightmare and be in my peaceful bedroom. The bedroom that I covered with black and neon colors and designed with mismatched items. It was the room I grew to love and gave my special personality that I was to hide from everyone around me because no one accepted it, especially my parents. They always believed that I was to be a respectable young lady that had a footballer as a boyfriend and was the head cheerleader. They had believed in me to become the cliché bobble head girl who was a brat to everyone and who thought she was better then everyone. Well, I was always glad to disappoint my parents. With too much structure brought me into the crowd in which were the rejects and believed in free spirit. While others supported Juicy Couture, we supported vintage wreaks or clothing that were barely twenty bucks. Those were the people I missed, and I would be joining into a school that was made of those ludicrous bobble heads who believe fashion comes first. Oh yes, my life was becoming Hell.

My eyes glanced at the barren walls of my newly found Hell. My room was just how my parents always picturing me PINK. It was a princess pink, a color only a child of five would pick but here I was lying in a black bed in a light pink room. I really wish this was a nightmare. The sounds of my mother in the shower soared through the air and the loud sounds of my father snoring were louder then sin. I found myself just calmly staring at the ceiling but really focusing on what was going on in the world around me. I knew it must have been around 7amish because the sun was just barely over the turning trees and birds chirped harmoniously in the early morning. I heard the water stop in the bathroom next door and my mother strode by in her fluffy pink bathrobe. She stopped at my doorway and muttered a light Good morning even though I knew she didn’t mean it. She continued on until her footsteps became muddled with the sound of the bedroom door closing.


I pushed down the black comforter with minor effort and jumped off the bed. I stopped a few feet away and grabbed my head between my hands. My head pounded lightly and the echo of the birds shot furiously through my mind. I felt myself begin to shake before my knees gave out and I fell to the ground. By that point my mother had already darted down the hall and was by my side in a flash. I stared up into her cool emerald eyes and could feel myself fading. But it stopped and the sound of the birds faded off into the distance. I looked back to my mother and her expression had changed from fear into displeasure. The arms she used to wrap around me pulled away and once again she became distant from me. Her presence left the room and I supported enough energy to pull myself into a pair of my clothes and down the stairs.

For every time that I had an attack the doctors had given me a prescription of medicine. I didn’t actually know what was in the medicine but it happened to be a little tablet that was half green and half yellow. And every time I took one I got my energy back. My body was still in shock as I popped a single tablet into my mouth. I swallowed it back carelessly and automatically felt better. My body stopped shaking and I didn’t feel the need to fall over anymore. I whispered a good bye to my mother, somehow I just knew that she would hear it and sped out of the house.

I didn’t have a car even though my parents had begged me to drive one their older hybrids. Instead I drove in my own style. I had a sleek black Aprilia motorcycle that was beautifully crafted and drifted like a dream. When I bought this with my own money my parents began to flip out. My father was pretending to flip out; I could tell because he was admiring it before my mother found out and started screaming. She was basically in a hysterical fit because her daughter was not as normal as she had hoped. It still made me laugh every time I thought about how angry she was with the motorcycle. I pulled on a lime green helmet with the initials R. A. I. N. stamped to the side. It was kind of funny how my parents never noticed when they gave me my two middle names that it would spell out the word rain. I find it hypocritical of them, but what can I say? Parents can sometimes be like that.

The engine was half full as I sped through the streets of the small town. I kept glancing around expecting to see people stare at me like I was nuts to be on something so dangerous, but instead I got looks of pure admiration. Almost everyone in this town seemed to be different. It was like a dream come true and it scared the Hell out of me. The roads of the town were newly paved and led to various side streets. There was no high way for miles because the town was too small and way to far out in the valley. I felt the wisp of air brushing the parts of hair that fell just under the reach of the helmet. It felt nice to have this much room on a street without almost getting hit or getting pulled over. I might actually start liking this place a little more. I sped even faster until I caught glimpse of the school. My bike almost squealed straight to a stop and I could smell rubber burning, but I ignored it.

The school was straight out of a Goth’s vision. It stood three stories high with high arched doorways that seemed to gleam off of the sun. The building was made out of dark brown stones, which almost seemed black, and haunting the school ground. The place might have been pulled straight out England or it might have been a church at some point but it was the most eccentric building I had ever seen. This town would definitely grow on me.

A small driveway cut off from the street and a sign was planted next to it. "Student parking" it read and I pressed through. The drive way was as nicely paved as the all the roads in town and led down into a huge parking lot. It already had about 20 cars parked throughout the lot and kids were hanging all around. I continued down the small driveway, while my engine purred lightly. I took one of the farthest spots from the school so no one would block me in, but I ended up the center of attention. Before I was able to pull off my helmet a huge bunch of kids crowded up to my bike. They were all talking at once and it was actually quite annoying. They looked different somehow from the kids from my other school. I unhatched my helmet and swung my leg out into the crowd. Someone cried out from shock but I ignored. I tucked the helmet under the seat compartment and attempted to get through the crowd.

I made through most of the crowd before someone's foot got in front of my legs. I tripped forward and started to stumble through the end of the crowd.